Letter of acceptance

Dear sir, I’m excited to let you know that your unvoiced, implied offer is still valid under the following conditions: disown family at earliest convenience relocate to São Paolo, Brazil, as instructed maintain inexhaustible budget and desire declare to love loosely agree to lose love upon request If either condition goes unmet, I will be […]

Don’t shit where you eat

Ruben. Well, Ruben was the one who did it. Ruben pushed me over the edge. Ruben made me chew it off, that belly schlong. He was just as old and weary without an ID to prove him wrong. We hit it off on that note.  He was lost and so was I except that he […]

The guy next door

Translating Vítek (from poor Czech to poor English) Since so much “goes missing” in translation, we can not directly and genuinely quote our protagonist. Key words: Fuck and/or damn = vole Fakt = an insert, like „man“, but pronounced as „fuck“   Vítek Nejedlý lives on the fourth of six floors, 74th of 350 heads. […]

Ripping off Kerouac, chick-style

Like any first time, my first time happened by chance, an unsolicited product of unsystematic, if not eratic, turning and folding of the universe. Jane Jones, if she stood where I stood and let the unseen whirlwinds of time and space and effect and consequence sway her, she’d eventually tumble down the very same road […]